happy halloweenie!

williston north dakota like most places celebrates halloween and i live on *snob hill* which means that live in an area of town where the houses cost more than 60,000 and this means that we are snobs. tonight there was over 400 people who came to our door and asked for candy. there were people from a town an hour away who came to our neighborhood to ask for candy. this is amazing. i mean its like the whole town and people form out of town come to the 5 block are of williston and trick or treat. i think this is just a sign of how lazy kids are getting!!

i know that its two months away but im not looking forward to leaving williston. i guess mostly cause i finally feel like springfield has nothing to offer me. but i will just go finish school and then come back to williston and work maybe. its strange that i feel like i have found somewhere that i can fit in a work. i have hope for the church for the universal church for the whole bride of christ because i see the potential here. i have hope for the church that they will be effective in the community and that we will be able to show the love of christ to people who need that love. i feel like i have purpose here.

i guess i need to turn in my resume. life is good.

i got hate runnin through my veins...

man rocky you sure can be emo sometimes! ok most of the time. if you have never heard rocky votaloto you should stop reading this go to amazon and order suicide medicine. its the best album you will buy this year.

sometimes i wonder if i am more afraid of failure or success. but either way i am applying for two jobs and i woulnt mind either one. maybe what i am really scared of is being locked in somewhere. sometimes i feel like being so care free and just not having any responisibillity i feel like the most selfsih person ever but i think that most people are a little worried about getting old and i think that its cause we see all the people who are older than us working places they hate and living lives they hate and we just want to avoid that as long as possible because we are affraid in the end that this is enevitable. and while i am affraid that i might end up in some sort of situation that i am not the happiest with i know i love people and working with youth so i am going to pursue this and be happy! i need to get everything together and in the mail while i still feel this way!!!

hurricane, whats her name, oh i already miss you...

pictures pictures pictures!!! so these are from around town and stuff i think there are a couple good ones in here. hope you enjoy!

went out with latisha and took these pictures at night.


the skate park where i graciously feel and smashed my head with my 5 pound camera! it was awesome.


more skate park and close calls on faling...


the title of this picture is leaf me alone! haha im an idiot


i admit it i used to listen to ska and less than jake was an amazing band so the title of this series is a boring life in a boring town... you used to like ska too im sure!


6 o'clock main street williston north dakota???


where did brandon go?


oh there he is...


guess matt is going to lay down also...


aaron this picture is for you mostly cause when i think of snow i think of you on the manning the plow! so it snowed 8 inches here october 5th but we have had a very nice fall after that.


this is my favorite picture on the roll cause i love ids and how funny they are. i thought it was funny also that this kid looks like hes got 3 arms and latisha is giving us a nice show here. yeah she brought the crack to the homecoming parade!

it is true right is gone she is buried there with wrong they are 6 feet under ground you can kiss them good bye cause we buried them alive...

i went to circle montana this weekend and i had a good time. i was a bible study leader. there were some things i liked like getting to share my thoughts with the kids and getting to know some new people. i also like that we did missions in the community by colleting food clothes and raking old peoples yards. there was some neat things that were going on there. there were some other things that i just am not quite sure about. and i thought that i was getting a lot less synical but still when i am in church there is something inside of me that wants to scream and say that isnt true or thats not really the way that i think. but it wasnt my place to do that this weekend.

kyle: oh man you kill me cause i was just getting used to thinking that i should come here and that i shouldnt even think about socal anymore and you say that kinda stuff to me. jeez what am i supposed to do now. ok well i will call you and talk to you about this.

alyssa: at first i was a little confused cause i think i flipped that little jerk off about every single days so thank goodness you clarified it as the day we went and took pictures. i was thinking about what picture i should give you and i am just not sure but one day you will get a wess howell original.

i have to make a resume and turn it into the church and then i also have to answer 5 questions i am sure that i will post them on here when i get them maybe i will also post my answers. i dunno. i guess well see what happens. maybe i will know what they think before i leave for school.

oh no... we lost control again...

today i put in my application for teh full time youth position at the first baptist church of williston north dakota. i may be moving back here in may. who knew?

im just a boring example of everybody else...

today in sunday school (i teach the college class) on of the girls in my class (there are 3 and no boys, yeah only 4 of us in the class) after prayer request one of the girls said... * my life could be a disney movie... about a princess stuck in a small town* it was seriously the most amazing thing that i heard all year!

watched dead poets society tonight man i love that movie. hung out with another girl from my class rachel (we watched the movie) and she has a big derek jeter card board cut out in her room its pretty amazing. i think it would scare teh crap out of me about every single night that i woke up and saw the dang thing.

pumpkin race was tonight at the best part of the whole thing is that the junior high girls won the whole thing and they are supposed to be the ones who dont have a clue. life is good and things are going great here. this week i have actually thought about seeing if i could come back in may. im not sure where that thought is coming from but it is a thought that is in my mind. i guess well just have to see then wont we.

she belongs to her mother and the state of ohio i wish she belonged to me...

i think that the best part of the dinner that i had last night was the bread! it was amazing and it has roasted garlic and olive oil and balsamic vinegar dip soo good!!! i love dinner parties! i hope when i move to springfield that i will have a job where i have enough extra money to have a dinner party once in a while.

tomorrow is the great pumpkin race at church and i bought $40 dollars worth of candy for the prizes. i love scavenger hunts and the clues for this one are great they were made by a lady from the church who is creative and clever. its so great! i kinda wish i wasnt hiding them and was playing cause its going to be fun.

i am going to montana next week to be a leader at the disciple now weekend there. im not sure how it will go but i am excited about it. also jeremy is coming in december so i am pretty pumped about that also. and a week after he is here i am leaving to go back to missouri. i guess sometmes i have mixed feelings about that. it will be nice to be back but im not looking forward to the search for a church. its hard to find somewhere you like and feel comfortable and also finda place where your personality and gifts can be used. i am praying for the perfect place to be used. i am also praying for a job. man i need one fast when i get home.

i dont mind, i dont mind...

so i was telling stories about past love and loss only to reminess with someone who had no clue about how i am or even who i am. so i rolled up my sleeve showed her the vrigin mary tattoo and then told her all about how i am so crazy about girls cause she asked if i had a girlfriend here or back home. it wasnt sad and im actually not lonely right now cause i have made friends who like hanging out or atleast dont mind hanging out. (tish please come with me friday!!!)

correction number two jessie thanks for being a great friend and being a whole month early for my birth day it is november 7th so you all have a whole month to plan what you will do when it finally rolls around. if you wanted to send me a card then my adress is 1616 4th avenue east
williston, north dakota 58801

jenny i did not get your email with your adress and frankly i was a little worried you didnt like me anymore here is a link to my e mail matterhasabreakingpoint@hotmail.com ok so it isnt a link but its my email adress...

danielle i remember that night well and im glad to say that even after 5 1/2 years of getting to know all the wierdness of me we are all still friends.

chelsea you are soo right i almost put 75% but i decided that sounded way too high and made me look like i wasnt picky enough. that apparently makes girls not feel special. dont worry ladies i think you are all special well atleast 75% of you!!!

life is good!

i had my fill and i know how bad it feels.

today i told stories about all the girls i almost dated or fell in love with, there are times when i think that this is a sad thing, sometimes i think it is a wonderful thing, sometimes i wonder how things would be now if any of those things ever worked out.

i probably told some story about you because i am sure that i was in love with you at sometime as i told the listener i could probably fall in love with about %50 of the female population. (this is a statement to all female readers except my sister though we are %100 compatible according to a highschool fundraiser)(well i guess its a statement to half of the female readers maybe i dunno)

love leaves its abusers...

boy oh boy jason molina you sure know a lot about life! you know the perfect songs for snowy october days. i mean i would never have known that north dakota has snow the first week of october!

i am reading this book called stumbling toward faith and there is a part where the lady talks about pat answers and how that most christians dont want to think about pain or problems just the easy answers that quit their searching hearts. here is what she said...

the truth in them was stripped out; the whole story in them was eliminated: god doesnt always provide when we think he should, and sometimes, his provision looks nothing like what we expected it to. god may not give more than we can handle, but it doesnt mean that we dont hurt under the weight of what he has already given us. god might provide a way of escape but it might begin past the path of grief or sorrow or betrayel

this is such a good book and i would recommend it to anyone who is searching or anyone who likes to hear about how people who have major road blocks overcome them and are united with christ. she also talks about trust, doubt, and unbelief... she says...

if there's anything i have learned about not knowing, its that it reveals the depth of my trust. can i trust a god who will not explain himself? can i trust a god who leaves me not knowing his purpose, his will? can i trust something beyond the pat answers, the snatched promises, the ways we quiet ourselves when the questioning grows too strong?



can i trust a god who lets me live with an "i dont know" and expects that is enough



oh god that is bigger than me.

oh god that is bigger than daily devotions

pefect answers

and unholy pretending

i believe

i want to believe

be present in the depths of my unbelief...



if you want to read more by her than check out her blog...
here

cry me a river...

i dont know why but i have been listening to a lot of justin timberlake lately. i guess every once in a while you just gotta get it out of your system.

sunday school for college kids went well. we had 2 kidds show up and that was good enough. we talked about romans chapter one. it went well and i think it actually was the best sunday school class that i have taught since i have been a sunday school teacher. its amazing how the word of God is so perfect and so just what you needed.

its starting to get pretty chilly up here, i think fall might just about be over in north dakota. the leaves are all changing and almost done. the weather man said we might have some flurries tomorrow. thats a little wierd.

have started reading more again there was a while when i wasnt reading much at all and that wasnt a good couple weeks. i will have to work hard to get to my goal of ten books before christmas. i am teaching chapel tomorrow for the highschool kids and the elementary kids so that will be interesting. man i hated chapel in college and now i am a chapel speaker. i guess the good news is im not looking for much respect when i go in there cause i know how much i gave when i was in chapel at school. dah well you win some you loose some.