how blessed we are for crying now for we will laugh some day and how...

what a busy little life i am leading i hung out with erin sandoval on wednesday i love that girl and maybe she is ove of the prettiest girls i know. thursday i worked for 9 hours and 45 minutes, got really excited to start another job on friday so i went to wal*mart to buy a little memo pad and new pens to write notes abotu work with and ran into johnie (a sweet girl i used to write love letters to at church camp) and we hung out for a couple hours that night and i couldnt be more thankful for being a dork when i ran into her. i mean seriously who buys note pads for new jobs and who else can have the worst day in teh world turn out to be amazing just buying some plastic and ink (pens, Duh) i dunno they make me giddy like a school boy though. so friday i went to work at 7 and got off at 3 came home talked to kaleb and worked from 5-10 30. yeah i think thats 13 and a half hours but atleast ill make some money. and after that a girl named jessica called and we hung out i dunno but john see says when it rains it pours and i say who could ask for more. today i worked from 10 30 to 3 30 and then 5 to 10 stopped by clays to drop off some bread because i can bring some home every night and its so good why would i waste it. talked to him for a long time and then as i was driving home i drove through down town adn apparently the pub crawl was a success because it took me forever to get through the couple blocks hosting it. so i parked and walked around step in some puke that im sure was pure alcohol and enough to get me drunk at that. saw several pretty girls dressed up so cute puking in trashcans and some other girls who werent very cute wearing barely anything. i dont know really what it is about halloween but it makes me a little sad. thanks for volunteering to make my site nice and i am going to let you know soon rayna or jay whom i have chosen it will be once i get paid so i can make you something nice and pretty which you will love and cherish deeply. rayna about the trust thing seriously who doesnt use thier name as a password (just kiddin) i trust you and whats the worst you could do. hackers already know everything about us anyway. and of course big brothers always watching. more work tomorrow but only at one job so you know it will be a short day and a hay ride with church tomorrow night. i am pretty stoked about that i am ready to not miss church jeez. thats all

she was like wine turned to water than turned back to wine...

so i started my first day of training at the days inn where i will be the night clerk maybe i will have good stories or maybe i will meet crazy people but mostly i think i will just need to buy a lap top so that i can pass the time by watching movies. yeah i think that would be good to be paid for watching some movies. and dish washing well if i have to choose jobs cause i cant handle it well i think that i will be choosing the full time one. but i think that ill be able to handle it. man its been a wierd week and there are so many beautiful girls i dont know how you are supposed to choose one and then hope she likes you also... oh well i will just worry about beign friends and keep making them pretty art. hey dont forget if you want to make my blog cool then ill make you somethign cool!!! ok off to work at job number 2!

flow tide ebb road night sky the sand in the park by the sea in my heart is still there

in response to joe (whomever he may be) i would love to make this the sweetest little site this side of the mississippi but alas my friend html is not my language. i have tried many times to na avail to put a side bar on my site and well i dont have one i just mess it up or something doesnt work and i gave up. i thought that i should hire someone but i cant afford that. so here is the plan if any of you savy people would like a piece of art or would like to see more of my art you should help me out. i will paint or photograph you somethign totally sweet in return for a little html help. if you lived in springfield i woudl take you to andys so that we could get pumpkin pie concretes but you all live in cali.
brooke likes the painting but said she was expectign something more out there i asked her why and she said that it would be more what she expected cause im more crazy again i dont understand but thats cool. she said that she already hung it up in her room havent talked to teh sisters to see what they thoguht of the pictures i blew up for them...by the way this is the third time i have posted this but i get kicked off before i publish so im makin it short so it can be on the blog!

the hardest thing you ever gave away is the hardest thing to keep, i am everything you wanted...

paint night! while freddie pondered the mystery that is donnie darko i began to listen to emo and let the palet knife do all the talking. i painted a black and white picture of a girl in a coffee shop alone looking at her coffee thinking about something who knows what but she isnt there i mean her thoughts are somewhere else. it turned out nice. i like it maybe even better than the last paingting i did which was for my homey shantelle. i think that the thing about all these pictures is that i sometimes feel like keeping them but i wouldnt know what to do so of course i dont do art unless someone wants me to paint them something. i love painting its good to be artistic to create something others can enjoy!
ok so i wonder if i am wierd or just wierd. (no i didnt repeat myself, well i did but i ment to) so the girl that i went out with friday night well after we talked a while she told me about the last relationship that she was in. now i would like to know what you guys think but does someones recent dating history affect you and how you treat that person. i dunno say you are about to turn 23 in i dunno 14 days and you go out with this girl who is 22 just turned 22 about a month and a half ago. now when you go out with this girl she tells you that she last dated a 57 (yeah fifty-seven) year old man. it was only for a month but it was a couple months ago that means that she was 21 while dating this guy. at first i was like well i would date older people but i really am questioning her judgment. i mean would you judge her in this scenario.
now as for the comment that was made earlier about growing up (last thing about this i promise) i called the person who said this and well it was late so i just left a message. when i got to church we talked and she apologized and i asked if there was something in my life that would make her say it and well she didnt have anything she said that she just said it and was being mean. i dont understand this and unfortunately the anger is gone and the wierd feelings of doubt and worry come now. its funny that i cant stop thinking about what would make her say this even after she told me it was nothing. oh well im not mad anymore and it all worked out. i must say thanks for the encouragtement though for sure.
dish washing is amazing and i think that you should all coem here and we could all work at teh italian resteraunt. so many characters there. so many personalities that cant be contained in that little kitchen they just bust out the doors and drag people back for more every night. its wierd to have so many regulars. oh well i guess i eat there every time i work and it isnt even close to getting old! ok well i love you all...

and in the end the dreams you dreamed are all you ever were...

good insight on growing up from all my friends from shoving sticks up behinds to moving all of them have been taken to heart and ummm well im gunna pass on being an adult for now. unfortunately i have never been good at just fitting in. i think apparently this is a good thing though because eventually it will make me and i quote *sexier* thanks for that one it was proly my favorite. since i am not planning on growing up i will also continue to attend my witling class. if i go a whole year i actually will be able to become part of the club!yeah i know no girls will even talk to me if i am in the ozark witling club i mean not just aking classes but a full on member. either i will be a lonely old man or the sexiest man alive.
i went to the driving range today and it was fun i think that gold would be a great hobby if you didnt have to get all competitive when you play it. good thing im not competitive at all...i also accidently let the dog run away i actually felt bad but only because i threatened to let him go some day and then i actually did it on accident i mean forgetting to close teh back door and going back to sleep is a pretty normal thing. i guess the best part is that i found him he was down the street being a dog yeah he found himself a sweet little girl dog and the funny thing is she was having her way with him he just lays on his back and lets her bite him i dont understand really.
ok well im going to drink coffee and read thats all...

i dont want to set the world on fire...

i went out with a girl last night, we had a good time we went to buffalo wild wings and then just talked in the car for an hour. i think that cheryl is a nice girl but while we were in teh car she said that a mutual *friend* told her that she shouldnt date me or even go on a date with me. apparently this friend knows me so well that she thought she could go ahead and tell cheryl that i am not interested in growing up. she said im not interested in growing up? how the heck does she know that im not interested in growing up. i feel like i have been fighting for a good reputation for so long i mean cheryl told me that so many people have told her that im too crazy or too wild that i wouldnt be a good person to date. what in the world is wrong with going to barnes and nobles and reading and drinking coffee by myself what is so wild about washing dishes. maybe its the witling class that im taking those things must make me wild and crazy that must be why im not interested in growing up. maybe its cause i dont have a real job. well im glad to hear that i am so crazy. im glad to hear that people think i am so exciting. i dont get it...
so i should be excited about this i got to go out with a girl even though people yes multiple people told her that i wasnt a good person to go out with. but all i can think about is that fact that i *friend* told her i didnt want to grow up. sorry i like to laugh sorry i like to joke around im so frustrated that i dont think i would ever like to talk to the person who told her this ever again.
i should also be happy about getting pictures back some good ones that i like a lot. some of the train trip home and some of the ones i took with kaleb and bullet train to vegas and hopesfall pictures. i really like some of them but all i can think is what i could do to make you think i was more grown up. maybe i could stop laughing maybe i could dress nicer maybe i could get a real job maybe i could read more i dont know what i should do so maybe you guys could tell me how i can be more grown up.
these are the things that make me want to get in the car and drive but i guess that is what makes me the kind of person who isnt interested in growing up...l

a dozen roses in the car...

the lyrics to a braid song that made me think that bob nanna was the most amazing sog writer in the world. last night i saw him play an amazing solo acoustic set and couldnt stop smilling because it was so good. now for the 15 other people who enjoyed it with me they also were quite lucky. since the show was so small i got a chance to talk with dave from novi/split his solo project he is in another band on barsuk called kinda like spitting he was drunk but a really nice guy and i also got to talk to bob for 30 minutes he was so nice and amazngly unconfident in fact he told me that he had a panic attack at the last show and couldnt finish the set. wierd how someone who has been in 3 bands who were great can get nervous still playing live. so i am the dish washer at this little italian resteronte and its sweet. this old guy tony who is fully italian and nice trained me. i have another interview today to be a night audit at the days inn i think its good to stay up all night so it will be fine to work plus it will be good to do some reading. amada you need to hear novi split and the city on film man they are good i got a split cd they did together i actually was teh first person to buy it. maybe i can burn you a copy of it and send it with soem leaves that i found that were real pretty. ok well hope you guys are all well. going to the interview.

im so hardcore...

so i went to a show well i went to two shows last night first i started the night off with bullet train to vegas and they are these crzy guys and their from so cal so i asked where from and then of course i had to tell them that i was there this summer. man not only am i sorta groupieish but also a freakin tourist they probably thought they should talk to me so they werent the reason i hung myself later that night... and so they were good i took some pics but i wont know what they turned out like for a while. tora tora torence was up next and before they played i talked to their guitar player for a while nice guy encouraged me to graffitti the city they were spraying gang on all their stuff and i asked what it ment and they just said it was something to write so sam said why dont you spray it around town i said sure ill do it and send you some pictures or somethign. sam thought it was a good idea... so that show was good but it was over at 9 i thought isnt there another show going on so i wondered down to the old rockwell and there was a band from kansas city playing called elevator division and they were good kinda indie wuss rawk you know the usual. next up was hopesfall and they are a hardcore band from north carolina nice boys good show and i didnt have to be at home a lone i mean i was at the show a lone but thats a better a lone than an empty house. church was good today and the art projects for marisha marie and brooke are going well i think since i had a couple cups of coffee tonight i am just going to stay up until 5 or 6 and paint all night its my favorite time to paint.
ms. shilling im sorry but ben asked first and also poor guy grew up in the desert he needs something pretty to look at you know. you at least got to see it a couple times. nikki you can be second so i suppose that amanda is third and you can all share. ok now that i promised pictures ill go ahead and tell you that im not sure when they will get developed.

taking pictures in the fall...

Kaleb and i are going to go take pictures today im pretty excited. i guess that will be one more roll that i need to get developed and when i do i think that ben you are teh first person on my list to send pictures to! i miss you guys a lot.

get your lazy ass up and get some more...

Jay this post is for you! tonight i worked in the evangel cafeteria and i had to serve chicken fajitas and i let so many people down cause i didnt give them enough tater tots and fajitas. thats right they can get as much as they want but they want it all at once and wont come back and get it. so i wanted so bad to say that catchy little phraze jay thought of when visiting the bbc. get your lazy ass up and get some more... thats right you cant walk a couple feet and get another plate of food instead of piling it so high that you can sit down and gorge yourself .
i am going to see tora tora torence on saturday i need to see some punk rawk goodness. havent been to show in a year or so man i miss shows so much. guess the midwest is just umm not springfield kc has good shows springfield is just not exciting i guess...ok thats all oh yeah bought some paint canvas and other thigns to make art projects im so excited im ready to be artistic you know art makes me feel so much more alive... i need to create it makes me think a little clearer...

rain rain go away...

its been raining here for 3 days and i am ready for it to just be nice a cool without being wet. the trees are turning and there is a tree in our back yard that is so red that you cant really focus on it i mean it looks like its glowing. i only slept 3 hours last night cause i played tiger woods golf until 4 but i didnt realize it was already 4 and then well i didnt get to sleep until 5 some how and hank woke me up at 8 and i dont know why i stayed up i just did. 3 hours until i go to work and cater and i wish i could just go outside and take a walk but it is raining. maybe i will go walk at the mall... ok probably not. when it stops rainging i am supposed to go frisbee golfing with marie i think that marie is pretty and i wouldnt mind dating her but she is marishas sister isnt this funny. oh well i think i will just leave it at liking them and hangin out who needs a girlfriend i mean i cant hardly buy myself any food how could i take care of a girl or atleast take her on dates. oh well frisbee golf is fun and free. but not a date... yeah im done need to sleep more tonight...

catch for us the foxes!

yesterday i bought the new me without you cd and well i think that maybe it is my favorite cd for teh next couple months atleast. you see this is a blessing because i wont want to listen to any new music since i have snow patrol, me without you, rocky votolato, and other things to entertain me. oh yeah a twothirtyeight cd with chase what makes your heart flutter on it. oh man that is my favorite song by them and the cd that it is on is out of print but they put it on a greatest hits type cd.
aaron your post was funny because all of my girl friends are so sick of halo and it is starting to taper off a little i mean there arent halo parties weekend but once in a while. so the new halo is going to be a God send for those guys but not so much their wives. i however have found the pleasure of tiger woods golf to pass the time nicely.
so sometimes i get pretty frustrated and i just want to leave springfield. i know what your thinkin all of you who have been here *yeah what else is new* but i dont understand why people who are chrsitians dont like art or think that it is a waste of time to do artistic things. for example when my pastor asked me what i had been doing i told him that i spent 6 hours this week witling and he laughed and asked why i would do that i guess i should have been spending time doing more spiritual things. this is the second church that i have attended that the pastor doesnt think that art is worth while. the fact that i was so stoked reading exodus because God gives artist hearts and minds for art made me feel like art was something that is a blessing. i think that it is a worthy persuit and if you dont understand it atleast just enjoy it. well i guess taht i will write more later.

dont f--- with us...

ok so catering yesterday i realized that tyler durden was a caterer and i thought man one of these hot shots could be followed into the bathroom and beat by a gang and tolled not to mess with those involved in project mayhem. i thought about how it would be interesting to live that life. i told this guy i was working with that it owuld be cool to be like that and well he told me that i was obviously a little crazy and he also commented that he hated brad pitt (sorry amanda) i thought maybe he is the guy who i need to mug in the bathroom! oh well there is more to write but no more time going to watch highschool football with kaleb oh boy!

i hate hank!!!

well i was pretty excited to write in this blog about the witling class that i have been takin and tell you how good i am doin and how i made a turtle and spent atleast 5 hours on it but last night hank ate it. i hate that dog and i am going to go slit his throat!maybe ill just let him off teh leash and leave him outside. i seriously hate that freakin dog! i bought an extra blank though so i will have to finish another turtle before the next class. anyways im not so excited about that whole thing right now.
i read a lot last night and im not sure if its the book i was reading or the 40 oz of coffee pulsing through my veins but i felt like driving i dont know where to maybe cali to see my friends maybe oregon cause its beautiful but i wanted to leave. it didnt leave this morning when i woke up with thoughts of dread and anger about having to make copies for 8 hours today all through getting ready and into the car onto 44 where it hit me this highway leads to sain lois and i could just take pictures adn go to teh zoo and science museum cause they are free. i almost drove right past the exit i needed to get off and adn kept going but one day i will keep going. maybe i will spend the next two years of my life making sure i am gettign rid of all thigns that tie me down you know bills and such and then one fine day when those are all gone i will just keep driving maybe for a week maybe a month i dont know a year just driving and driving and send ing you all post cards. its in my blood and i think i might not do graphic design maybe ill do photo journalism so my job can be traveling. wouldnt that be sweet. thats all...

miss crooked smile

so kaleb was sharing his vain past with me and he said he used to think he would never date a girl with teeth that werent strait and i said you said that? and he said yeah but i love jills crooked smile and i thought about how nice i think jill sharps crooked smile is. this also made me think that marisha has a similar crooked smile. marishe is one of the new freshman at my church but she is a transfer student who is 21 so i think that i like her and that she is a nice girl. this takes my mind off of lisa and now church is peacful again.
so i have a few more stories about the copies i made friday two good ones that are worth writing about. one guy was fired because they suspected him of drug use but they didnt have any evidence and when you are working with unuions apparently employees can do what they darn well please adn get rehired after the company fires them. wierd? so the final evidence they got to drug test said employee was a truck driven through the wall, oh yeah he tested positive, who knew? secondly a firing that brought employee jon close to my heart. jon was a fun loving employee who hated to see his fellow workers down so in an attempt to life their spirits jon stripped down to his whitey tighties and drove a fork lift around the warehouse for approximately 15 minutes. now these forklifts arent your standard sit down everyday fork lift they are ones where you are just standing on the end and are totally exposed. jon youre a good man and its a shame you had to go!!! if you dont know why this story is close to my heart maybe you should ask and i will tell you and maybe if you all nkow i will just retell all of you on one of those days i have nothing to write about.
saw my parents on saturday and it was pretty fun to see them. it was a good visit. now a challenge for all of you california people. i dont know too many schools in so cal or where these schools i dont know about are located but if you know of any with a graphic design major and you want me in so cal leave a comment so i can apply for it and get out there next fall. ok i miss and love all of you. ok another challenge for computer minded people if there is a way you can leave a comment for me with html in it to copy and paste or some sort of instructions you could offer to make a buddy list so my page isnt so un hip i would also love that. thats all...