waiting breathlessly for the hallelujah that may or may not follow...

body piercing saved my life; inside the phenomenon of christian rock.
by andrew beaujon
i just finished this gem of a book and as soon as i could get to the library to blog about it i did so that all of you will go buy this book! it is a nonchristians view on christian music, unbiased and only feels a bit scathing because you realize that you have played a part or commited some of the attrocities mentioned in this book. andrew points out that music is like the city square of culture and so i really feel like there is more than just a music review here. this could also be because he talks about a couple chruchs and parachurch organizations.
i think that andrewcovers so many parts of christian music and really is interested in understanding it that you find yourself loving the people he loves and getting angry at the people who wont call him back or are rude to him. maybe the most cutting part of the book is at the end of the GMAs when david bazan is acosted by an angry fan who just needed to confront him about how his music was offensive. andrew says that he doent understand why if the guy is offended he just doesnt listen and tw walsh a member of bazans band says your not a christian.
i see so many things about this book that andrew nailed how christians are always on the defensive because we feel persecuted, which he replies that being called names and being made fun of hardly compare to being nailed to a tree, stoned, or burned at a stake. he also points out how this persecution brings out the war rhetoric which makes us ever ready to defend and fight no matter what the cost. i think there is a point to standing up for what you believe but sometimes i guess its just best to realize there are over 6 billion people in the world and we all think that our ideas and oinions are the best and right.
when i read the section on rock for life i cringed, i have never understood how holding a sign could change someones mind but in his book he tells about one of the guys who became pro-life because of a sign holder. i guess i just think offending people is probably the worst way to try and get them to agree with you.
what i think is amazing is that andrew at the end of the book when he is evaluating what he has taken from the experience talks about his world view and it seems that he might know a bit more about living like christ than a lot of people who attend church. he doesnt believe in God and he threw himself into this culture and he found positive things and he liked some aspects of it which is shocking and hard to figure out. i think though that this is because in one of the early chapters when he is talking to david bazan he says sometimes the only way to get past this culture is to become a little cynical.
go read this book most people who have read it that i know have finished it in two sittings at least. its an easy read and very entertaining.

also you should listen to margot and the nuclear so and so's, its amazing.

aristotle says i am a rational animal, i say i am an angel with an incredible capacity for beer...

i listened to the first brendan manning cd today called healing our image of God and oursleves. i am glad that i listened to it alone because there were parts were i felt so relieved and happy that i almost wept. even in my attempt to learn more about justice peace and mercy i have still fallen short in comprehension of them. because i have seen them through the lens of humanity which is noble at best but falls very short of the Love of God which is perfect. these are more days to think about who i am and why i am a loveable person. it isnt cuase i am good it isnt cause God makes me good but it is only because God is good.

how will i ever stop worrying that i cant get things right and just feel loved. i think little by little and day by day. today i feel loved and liked by God i feel like he is good and it makes me good enough and i am happy with that. i need daily reminders of this cause i am sure that soon enough i will forget and i will be afraid of the god i have made God out to be.

you are the bluest light...

in Gods reign everything belongs even the poor and broken parts. i hope one day that i realize fully that everything has its place. i began reading everything belongs again and it is perfect for where i am right now. i like this book a lot. i also am borrowing a 5 cd set from jeremy by brendan manning who wrote regamuffin gospel which i think you should read. life is going well.

last night all my teeth fell out like ivory typewriter keys

life is wierd. thats what i said to landon last night and he said wierd how wierd good wierd bad and so i bet he gets bored reding this cause its just a recap of our conversation.

wierd good: i been thinking a lot lately and having good conversations even. this is good cause it feels like since i have been back in springfield that i havent been challenged or motivated to do this. what i have been thinking about is this. when we bec ome christians we are sinners after we get *saved* we are still sinners and so the christian life is just a series of repantance. how can this not drive you crazy. i love God but i am also a selfish person who loves himself more than most things. but i have come to the point where i am ok with this. (for now) as i struggle to find the faith to trust God that he will change me. im not sure how this works besides the simple fact that you focus on God and you are changed into his image. but this is not an overnight change so for the time being you must live with yourself, your aweful self. it has been ingrained in me to look at myself and to try to make things better. but i think about things like God doesnt desire sacrafice it isnt what makes him happy... he is glorified inmy weakness... why do i try to make myslef perfect it wont happen this way. my friend Tim and i talked about this and how the mystics always speak of selfforgetfullness and we are never able to transcend when our focus is on self and how bad we are. life is crazy wierd

crazy wierd: i was talking to this gurl and things were going ok she asked me to call her we were going to hang out, you know things were good. im not sure what happened well i mean i guess i know what happened but i didnt see it coming. monday i helped her move into her apartment and me and her ex-boyfrined helped and during this move she told me that she didnt know why she asked him to help cause all tehy did was fight and me personaly i thought he was a little on the annoying side but i guess he was a nice guy. anyway they got in a fight and she told him that she didnt want to talk to him anymore so i figured thats good atleast i wont have to worry that she is always talking to her ex... so she went to kansas city to do this drama thing at the church she interned at and when i went to see her at work thursday she told me that she was engaged. things dont ever go my way with ladies... oh well

i hope your life is crazy as well...