though you hit me hard i come back...

stength is an interesting concept. you see i had a conversation tonight with a friend and like most christians she thinks that she should distance herself from those who might be considered bad influences. i dont disrespect her for choosing to live life and be around good influences, i like to be around people who encourage me also, but i guess sometimes i wonder who are we supposed to encourage if we only try to be around those who encourage us. strength was the topic because i said that i like to be around people who arent christian or religioous. and i think that i can think about those relationships without being discouraged or *brought down*. i dont think that i am stronger or more capable of avoiding sin or struggle but i think that we are able to have relationships that we are teh stronger person in. i think that this is the beauty of being a christian the fact that we can rely on christ to be our strength and our center. also my sister said something that was in an unrelated conversation and it stuck with me and i think that it was perfect for this conversation i just didnt make the conection until now. she said that at teh greek orthodox church the greet eachother and think of eachother as icons. (icons are the pictures of the saints. they think of people as icons becuase we are created in teh image of God. i like that idea and i think that i love you becuase i can see something divine in you.) its tough to be home and i am ready to leave though i love my family i am ready to miss them. i guess the grass is always greener. just som thoughts.

through my yellow country teeth...

somethings you just never forget you know like friends so here are some pictures of friends i wont ever forget.












jeremy came to play in williston and it was pretty awesome i took a few pictures so here is the results of our photo shoot.



















one last photo from me to you thats right merry christmas sometimes big things come in small packages

i was born a unicorn

so long williston, im not sure if i will ever return but there are plenty of memories in my mind. and i documented the whole experience with pictures that i will be putting into an album. goodbyes in cowboy country are kinda wierd a handshake and a wave thats about it. i think that i have accomplished what i wanted to accomplish in my time as the youth intern and i have learned more than i could have ever been prepared to learn. life has been good to me and the memories are sweet. there are some good people in williston and i am glad that they became my friends.

megan lee you are amazing and i am so glad that you have been my friend. i will miss the car rides and talks and south side come and go. let me know how the jolt time capsels are coming.

zack your heart must be huge since only half of it works and you are so loving. thanks for the warm basement. i think of all the places i will miss in williston that is going to be on top of the list.

tisha its ok if you cried a little when i left you are a good friend and i am glad that we could hang out, in the costume isle or wherever you know.

landon thanks for all the good talks and things to think about. i look forward to your next art show.

it was a good 7 months and now i am heading back to teh dirty south. got to bismark tonight around 11 and had some new castle with landon and nate. man that made me pretty tired. i will finish the trip home tomorrow and i have some pictures to post but they are packed away right now so soon and very soon i will post them. i am going to sleep i have a lot in my mind.

son, i loved you at your darkest

what an incredible weekend. i finished christmas shopping for all of my williston friends while i was in minot because they have a mall. picked jeremy up from the airport and was pretty happy for the next 48 hours just to get to hang out with someone who knows me and has more than 6 months of history with me. he played saturday night for me and about 30 friends. it was so cool i like when he does acoustic shows. then sunday morning we had youth emphasissunday at church and so since i was incharge i thought we should do things a little differently. we started out with a soloist and a time of reflection before we started the service, but even before that we had a time of silence to prepare our hearts for worship, thanks landon for the suggestion it went well i think. then our youth band played 3 songs and again since i was in charge i spoke to the congregation and that went very well. well until what i was talking about became so real and overwhelming to me at the end i almost cried. i think that the best think about being a believer is that Gods grace is so amazing. so overwhelming and constant. and i would like to think i am learn that my life as a train wreck only begets forgiveness from God. then mexican with the tongs(the family i live with) and then back to minot to drop off jeremy.

o come, o come, emanuel

ok i need to confess that tonight as i sat at dinner with a very nice girl one of the only things i could think about was how much i am not a huge christmas music person. i mean occasionally like christmas eve service communal worship christmas songs i can handle but 24/7 christmas music is no good! ok unless it is with my sister and its alabama christmas which includes such hits and thistle hair the christmas bear, christmas in the carribean, and so much more. that i can handle and there is now one more christmas album that i can handle ... no its not the birght eyes christmas album though i do kinda like that one it is none other than mr. sufjan stevens and its free you just gotta download it. yeah here is a link to the site where Landon sent me

http://cawley.typepad.com/blog/2005/08/sufjan_stevens__1.html

listened to a few songs and it pretty much hits the spot.

one day it just snowed i guess

One day it just snowed I guess
and they closed the roads into your heart.
You came home like a dead star
no light left, no loving anymore.

Years ago you sent a postcard,
it's the one that always made me laugh.
It said "Send for reinforcements cause theres too much here for me to love".

What would they say,
What would they say to make you feel O.K.
What would they do,
What would they do to make you feel O.K.

Years ago I read a story
about a man who had a plan.
Tied himself on to a balloon,
yeah, cut the ties and tried to reach the moon.

Rescued by an airline pilot
15,000 feet above the world.
Dragged him down, they wished him luck
they'd hoped that he learned his lesson well.

What would they say,
What would they say to make him feel O.K.
What would they do,
What would they do to make him feel O.K.

Kathy I can still see stars
the same ones that we wished upon.
I know you know your way around,
but I can tell you're losing ground.

I can see you on the radar,
but you know I could never bring you back.
You cut the ties, you're floating free yeah, hi and lo and inbetween,
you cut the ties, you're floating free yeah, hi and lo and inbetween.

kathy i can still see stars, the ones used to wish upon

change change change it keeps coming and never stops and i would say that all this change is making me feel a little sentimental. i am leaving williston in two weeks, christmas is coming in three weeks, i am heading back to springfield in four weeks and then leaving springfield possibly in 5 months. i want to spend time with everyperson that i know. i want to sit for hours and talk. i am ready to see my family and sorry that the next two weeks my be all the time i have left to see the friends i have made over the past 7 months. i think about coming back or heading to socal in the summer and it is a good feeling to think that soon and very soon i could be movnig into a carreer. there is also fear when i think about committing to one place is it possible to like somewhere and be content enough to stay. change change change here i go blazing through the next month trying to get used to wherever i am. so please if im close to you spend time with me becuase i want to spend time with you. i want to be around you and i will probably hug you a lot.