last night all my teeth fell out like ivory typewriter keys
life is wierd. thats what i said to landon last night and he said wierd how wierd good wierd bad and so i bet he gets bored reding this cause its just a recap of our conversation.
wierd good: i been thinking a lot lately and having good conversations even. this is good cause it feels like since i have been back in springfield that i havent been challenged or motivated to do this. what i have been thinking about is this. when we bec ome christians we are sinners after we get *saved* we are still sinners and so the christian life is just a series of repantance. how can this not drive you crazy. i love God but i am also a selfish person who loves himself more than most things. but i have come to the point where i am ok with this. (for now) as i struggle to find the faith to trust God that he will change me. im not sure how this works besides the simple fact that you focus on God and you are changed into his image. but this is not an overnight change so for the time being you must live with yourself, your aweful self. it has been ingrained in me to look at myself and to try to make things better. but i think about things like God doesnt desire sacrafice it isnt what makes him happy... he is glorified inmy weakness... why do i try to make myslef perfect it wont happen this way. my friend Tim and i talked about this and how the mystics always speak of selfforgetfullness and we are never able to transcend when our focus is on self and how bad we are. life is crazy wierd
crazy wierd: i was talking to this gurl and things were going ok she asked me to call her we were going to hang out, you know things were good. im not sure what happened well i mean i guess i know what happened but i didnt see it coming. monday i helped her move into her apartment and me and her ex-boyfrined helped and during this move she told me that she didnt know why she asked him to help cause all tehy did was fight and me personaly i thought he was a little on the annoying side but i guess he was a nice guy. anyway they got in a fight and she told him that she didnt want to talk to him anymore so i figured thats good atleast i wont have to worry that she is always talking to her ex... so she went to kansas city to do this drama thing at the church she interned at and when i went to see her at work thursday she told me that she was engaged. things dont ever go my way with ladies... oh well
i hope your life is crazy as well...
wierd good: i been thinking a lot lately and having good conversations even. this is good cause it feels like since i have been back in springfield that i havent been challenged or motivated to do this. what i have been thinking about is this. when we bec ome christians we are sinners after we get *saved* we are still sinners and so the christian life is just a series of repantance. how can this not drive you crazy. i love God but i am also a selfish person who loves himself more than most things. but i have come to the point where i am ok with this. (for now) as i struggle to find the faith to trust God that he will change me. im not sure how this works besides the simple fact that you focus on God and you are changed into his image. but this is not an overnight change so for the time being you must live with yourself, your aweful self. it has been ingrained in me to look at myself and to try to make things better. but i think about things like God doesnt desire sacrafice it isnt what makes him happy... he is glorified inmy weakness... why do i try to make myslef perfect it wont happen this way. my friend Tim and i talked about this and how the mystics always speak of selfforgetfullness and we are never able to transcend when our focus is on self and how bad we are. life is crazy wierd
crazy wierd: i was talking to this gurl and things were going ok she asked me to call her we were going to hang out, you know things were good. im not sure what happened well i mean i guess i know what happened but i didnt see it coming. monday i helped her move into her apartment and me and her ex-boyfrined helped and during this move she told me that she didnt know why she asked him to help cause all tehy did was fight and me personaly i thought he was a little on the annoying side but i guess he was a nice guy. anyway they got in a fight and she told him that she didnt want to talk to him anymore so i figured thats good atleast i wont have to worry that she is always talking to her ex... so she went to kansas city to do this drama thing at the church she interned at and when i went to see her at work thursday she told me that she was engaged. things dont ever go my way with ladies... oh well
i hope your life is crazy as well...
posted by fountainstylerootbeer at 11:19 AM
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