my dear diary...its just you and me...tonight...

i started trying to read divine conspiracy again. i started it about a year ago but didnt make it all the way through. and since rob bell suggested reading it several times in his book i thought that i should give it another try. i think that even though i read quite a bit 400 pages is still a big commitment. it has kept me away from several fiction books that i havent had the courage to swim through. anna kirinina, war and peace, the fountian head... you know the long ones. anyway with 8 books under my belt this summer i thought that i might be able to move up into the next weight class (over 250 pages)so maybe this book will feel like quite an acomplishment. i remember ben talking about it last summer at camp and it seemed to have a pretty big impact on his life so i am looking forward to it.
today wasnt very exciting although last night i taked to a guy from church and i think that i am going ot be able to work with him cleaning carpets. that will be pretty sweet. i think i will like it more than working at the pizza place. maybe this will be the thing i need to help me feel like i do something. i mean i work at the church but there isnt always a lot to do. if i felt like i was productive maybe it would make my time here less lonely. or maybe if i wasnt a lone most of the day. i feel like i need more interaction. more connection. but i dont want to seem like that whiney girl who wants all your attention.