who i am in his eyes...

what if you met a whore! yeah one who is strung out on heroin for the past six years, the needle tracks on her arms and skin draped over bones. would you look at her with disgust. would it make you sick to know that she had been with some guy tonight and once he fell asleep she stole $50 from his wallet and asked you to call a cab at 4:30am. would you think her foul language was unacceptable and just anticipate that cab pulling up and her being out of your hair. and when she says if he comes down dont tell him i left just say you havent seen me. would you wait outside with her in the cold and find out about who she is and what her life has been like the past 6 years. would you care that she was 21 and feels like she has wasted her life. and when she says why are you being nice to me i am a piece of sh*t would it break your heart right in half. and maybe she would tell you that she does drugs and drinks just so she can cope with life. could you put your arm around her and tell her you cared, would you ask if you could help would you tell her if she needs to talk that you work here monday and friday nights. if this sounds like something you have experienced you must work all night at a hotel. and its funny the sick feeling that i have in my stomach isnt because she was disgusting but it is because i am disgusting. it is because in hosea i am the whore. this book has never felt so real to me. my heart has never been so broken by who i am and who God sees me as. this condecending LOVE is more than i can comprehend and im not sure wether to puke or bawl my eyes out. and maybe you are the person that God has providentially brought across my path to put me back on the strait and narrow. alisha was her name but it could have been mine... i am glad that God gave me humility to understand that this is who i am and why i should have compassion!